I am sad. My father in law succumbed to cancer on October 11th, 2010. I was with him. I woke up that morning (my husband had to work)and felt this need, this pull to go to the hospital. I had to go. I asked my babysitter to sit with my kids for an hour so that I could visit Del. I really just wanted to check in on him because I knew Dave was working and that he wouldn't have time to go and see his Dad before a family Thanksgiving dinner that we were supposed to attend later that afternoon. I wanted to be able to reassure Dave that I had seen Del and he was ok. That was not what happened. I got to the hospital just after noon on the 11th. As I walked through the hospital doors, I got this eerie feeling that something bad was going to happen while I was there. I went up to Del's room and as I walked through the door, I was happy to see that he had his eyes open(as I hadn't seen him with his eyes open for almost a week). I said "hello Del" and soon realized that he wasn't responding to me and that his breathing was laboured and gurgly. I sat at the window seat and cried for about 10 minutes. I then went into the bathroom and cleaned myself up and took a minute to regain my composure. When I came out of the bathroom, I realized that Del's breath was coming slower. Everything happened so fast, I didn't have time to call any of the family...I knew they wouldn't get there in time and I didn't want to leave his side to get a nurse. I didn't want to leave him alone. So, I stood by his bedside and stroked his hair until this breathing stopped. After a minute, I went to the door and flagged down a nurse. The nurse went to get Del's nurse and they came in to check his heartbeat. After a minute, they confirmed what I already knew. I just sat there and cried. I asked them to give me a minute and I called my Mom; who was working at the hospital. She came to help me. I tried to call my Mother in law, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her the news. I had to have the Head Nurse do it. I then went with my Dad to break the news to my husband; while my Mom waited for my Mother in Law. I went and picked up my husband on one of his jobsites and told him the news. We all then gathered at the hospital to say our good-byes. I felt and still feel horrible. I wish I had said more to comfort Del while he was passing...but, I was in shock and couldn't believe it was happening. I wish it had been someone more important to Del who had been with him. I wish I could take away the hurt and pain from my loved ones. But, more than anything, I wish I could bring Del back. He was a great man and I am proud to have known and loved him.
